I have this theory about relationships. Marriages in particular, because I'm talking about lifetime commitments. I am not married, and my longest relationship was just over a year. So maybe I've got it all wrong. But just maybe I've got this one little piece figured out.
The person you've been married to for 15 years is not going to be the same person you married. And you're not going to be the same person who married them. Our experiences shape us and over time, we evolve. Values may change and priorities shift. Perspectives are influenced and our outlook on life can be turned on its head. Whether we switch jobs every couple years or stay with one company for half our lives, our careers affect who we become. Family dynamics, financial situations, and even the little stuff, like dealing with idiot drivers or having that person in front of us in the drive thru pay for our food, all combine to make us who we are. And we cannot stay the same. We don't have a choice. Life comes at us and we roll with it. So the trick to making a marriage last, is not to stay the same people you were, we've established that that's impossible. I believe instead, that it is a conscious effort to grow together, rather than grow apart. Because grow, we will. But every day, we are confronted with choices. And the decisions that we make, to take a step closer or a step away, are essential to a lifetime friendship with our spouses.
